shock

the phonecall i received on sunday was not expected, and most defiently not welcome.

hearing the voice telling me that you, someone i loved, cared about, respected, admired and worked with every day for 5 years, was gone...was unbelievable and extremely heart breaking. you were an amazing person and friend and it still hasnt completely sunk in.

going to work every day and still seeing your name, your handwriting, your desk, everything, is horrible. its gut wrenching to see everyone else that loved you suffering. you were an incredible part of our team, and i just dont know if we'll ever recover from losing you. i feel so much pain and sorrow for your beloved wife and of course your cherished family. i barely spoke to you last friday, we were both so busy and everyone was grumpy, but you still managed to make me smile and laugh, as you had done every day that ive seen your smiling face. i feel regret for not having time to talk to you, but privileged for the time we did have. you were taken suddenly, and i know everyone wishes they had more time with you.

im not looking forward to saturday, for when we're all expected to say goodbye for the last time.

we love you. we will always miss you. RIP.